Premature Adjudication

We're a bunch of law students who all live together and want to write a blog. Well, only three of us want to write, but the others may pop in occasionally. We have no true purpose, but I bet you'll see a lot about sports, current events, and general randomness. Don't worry bar admissions people we are both of high moral character and physically fit.

Sunday, June 18, 2006

US Open Final Round Live

As a preliminary matter, I found out this morning when I examined the sticker on the deli meat I purchased yesterday, that the PDWIQ (publix deli worker in question) gave me 0.33 and 0.36 lbs of smoked turkey and barbecue chicken, respectively--when I ordered 0.50 lb of each. I have no problem with anything from 0.425 to 0.75 lb when I order 0.50 lb--but 0.33?? No, that is prima facie evidence of bullshit.

Okay, bygones...on to the golf. It is 400pm and I have just returned home from the law college after making criminal procedure note cards all morning.

400pm: Phil is on #10 tee at +4, 1 shot back of Ogilvy.

411pm: Ogilvy makes bogey and is tied with Phil, Montie (are you kidding me?), and Furyk. Singh and Harrington are one back at +5. Can you say shootout?

416pm: KABOOM! Phil makes birdie at 11. alone at the top at +3...and NY'ers go wild!

435pm: Phil pars 12, still a one shot lead. There are 7 players within 3 shots of the lead...amazing!

442pm: Ogilvy nearly holes a bunker shot at 13. Phil has just hit a terrible shot on the par 3 13th, short-siding himself in the Ogilvy bunker.

445pm: Hey Kenneth Fairie, can you go get me a hot plate of see you later? Thanks.

449pm: Phil lips the 10 footer for par. Tied at +4 with Harrington and Ogilvy.

503pm: Phil birdies 14! 2 shot lead with 4 to play! Furyk, Harrington, Montie, Ogilvy are 2 back.

513pm: Anonymous Roommate just MySpace-stalked some 20 year-old Shelton State chicks.

515pm: Phil has a 4 footer for par on 15 to maintain his 2 shot lead. Harrington just boyeyed 16 and 17...lates.

515pm: Phil makes it! 2 shot lead and 3 to play. 3 holes which the late Dave Marr (former winner of the PGA Championship) called the 3 most difficult finishing holes in golf. This is it. The tournament is Phil's to win.

526pm: Phil plugs it in the front bunker on 16...only good news is he has a decent amount of room between himself and the hole.

529pm: Montie birdies 17. A Mickelson bogey at 16 and we have a tie ball game...just like that!

533pm: Furyk posts +6 and Harrington posts +7. Thanks for coming out.

542pm: Phil hits a tits shot from the left rough and is about 35 feet below the hole. We'll take it. Monty just dumped it short right on 18...his chance of making birdie is slim. He gets up and down and Phil has to par 18 to force a playoff.

546pm: Monty blows it 30 feet past. He misses and Phil pars 18=Phil wins.

553pm: Phil at +4, just hit fucking driver off the hospitality tent on 18. Ogilvy is at +5 and has to get up and down to force Phil to make par in order to win.

555pm: Ogilvy hits a great pitch to 7 feet or so. This is some pretty hot shit!

557pm: Ok, Ogilvy's putt for par...MADE IT! Ogilvy is in at +5. Phil has to make par to win. Pretty simple scenario: go big or go home.

600pm: Phil hit a tree and went backwards...holy shit. Now he's playing for 5 and a playoff...unbelievable. And apparently now he is going over the trees. All or nothing.

602pm: Phil is plugged in the left bunker. Has to get up and down to win.

Johnny Miller is barbecuing Phil saying he shouldn't have hit driver on 18 when he just needed par to win.

605pm: Phil is absolutely screwed. Given the lie there is little chance that he can keep it on the green. But again, this is Phil. He may have been waiting for this shot his entire life. Roll the dice big fella.

607pm: Over the green. Phil has to hole his chip to force a playoff. I am in shock. Someone go get me a scotch. Make it a double.

609pm: It's over. Congratulations to Geoff Ogilvy.

And holy shit is right. I am out.


  • At 7:35 AM, Blogger Lord Helmet said…

    Ok, I've had time to think about what happened yesterday:

    (1) Tiger Woods would have never done that. Ever Ever Ever!

    (2) As a corollary to (1), Phil, who had a chance to supplant Tiger as #1 in the world if he had won his 3d major in a row while Tiger missed his first ever cut in a major, is in my mind, now and forever, Tiger's #2. Dunzo.

    (3) It will be interesting to see how Phil responds...this isn't like the '99 Open where he could retreat behind his "I love having kids" mask.

    (4)The aura behind the Tiger-Phil rivalry (which would have been official if Phil had won) has taken a serious blow. Phil will have to do something spectacular(like win the British or defend the PGA) to recover from this disaster.

    (5) New Yorkers still love him--which is odd, considering they boo the dogshit out of A-Rod who was only the AL MVP last year...and all Phil has done is finish RUNNER-UP(!!!) in the Open TWICE and then had the gall to go WIN the PGA in NEW JERSEY!!! Riddle me that one, batman.


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