Premature Adjudication

We're a bunch of law students who all live together and want to write a blog. Well, only three of us want to write, but the others may pop in occasionally. We have no true purpose, but I bet you'll see a lot about sports, current events, and general randomness. Don't worry bar admissions people we are both of high moral character and physically fit.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

The Great Baseball Debate

Sorry I haven't posted lately, I have blogger's block and there isn't much going on in my life besides cancelled motions to suppress, tv, and sleep. Really not all that exciting.

Anyway, those of us left at the Ranch started arguing today about whether or not baseball sucks. Ephraim, he of the logical arguments, said that, well, baseball sucks. His arguments were that it was boring and not as good as football, which I'm pretty sure proves everything. Helmet and I, who were engaged in a game of catch at that very moment, disagreed, basing our logic on our own subjective enjoyment of baseball. Another compelling case. Eventually it got into an argument about attendance, which really proves nothing because the two sports are like apples and Volkswagens when it comes to attendance. Baseball has a lot of games, higher attendance overall, but less demand per game. Football has few games, lower attendance overall, but packed houses every game. Not really comparable, nor relevant at all to the overall question of whether baseball sucks.

So, I guess my point is that I want to know what everyone else thinks about it. Here's the question, does baseball suck? I'm not asking what sport you like the most, just whether you think baseball, and baseball alone, sucks. I don't even care for your reasoning, just let the world know your opinion.

This poll is obviously very scientific and will be used to decide the ultimate issue once and for all, so please, answer carefully.


  • At 4:13 PM, Anonymous Adolf Oliver Bush said…

    Attending Barbri lectures generates the same level of excitement as that of a baseball game. Both include only about 5 minutes of real action over a three-hour period. The 5 minutes of action in Barbri occurs over the 20 minutes of breaks, in which someone always cracks a joke, I use the bathroom, or even make a phone call or send a text message. Similarly, both would be equally amusing with the aid of a 6-pack buzz. Further, each is a so-called "thinking man's game." But, baseball could have the edge because it's normally outside. Move Barbri outside and they're equals. I'd even say that we have as many hot girls in Barbri--proportionately speaking--as there would be at a baseball game.

    I guess it's different for housecat and helmet because they can't go on man dates to barbri. So, I wholeheartedly understand why they would prefer Baseball to Barbri.

  • At 4:43 PM, Blogger Lord Helmet said…

    Comparing the 2 is like apples and (i.e., people beating the shit out of each other) traces its origins back to the Roman Colisseum and the gladiators (those crazy bastards were playing for keeps). Baseball, on the other hand, was arguably invented by Union general Abner Doubleday during the Civil War and is the only sport ever to be associated with the phrase "America's pasttime"--so it must have some redeeming values to deserve such a lofty moniker.

    What's your point Lord Helmet?

    I have none. I really like both sports. I really love rolling with the Tide from August through New Year's Day and I love following the Braves from Spring Training through the World Series. I like watching people wail on each other and I like the various strategies and infinite permutations of baseball. The two games are extremely different.

    I would like to point out that Mrs. Bush's only criterion for making a good sport is "action." That sounds really intelligent. If you are looking for action I suggest you call up some sea donkeys, you have all their numbers...

  • At 5:40 PM, Anonymous adolf oliver bush said…

    Speaking of strategies, try getting 11 dudes with enormous egos to work in perfect harmony, and then we'll talk about which game requires more thought. Let me assure you, it's more than "runner on first, throw it to second if i scoop up this grounder." For example, here's the thought process of your typical wide receiver on a typical play, and most of it occurs while he's running downfield at full speed, ready to get knocked into the front row:
    "check to see if the nickel is the hot read. if he comes, break it off at a slant, making sure to get underneath the backer. if the nickel doesn't come, run the choice route--if the corner is off and playing inside technique, stick him inside and run the out. if he's off and outside, push into him and run the dig. if he presses, giving you a cover two or man look, get inside him and run the post." In this scenario, the quarterback makes the same reads and throws to a spot (that is, the same reads that each of the three receivers would make independently--the QB makes all three reads). If the nickel in fact comes, the QB will be throwing while on his way to the ground.

    I agree, the two games are infinitely different. One requires a strong, fast, and agile athlete who can think in the face of imminent physical contact, and the other requires a bunch of dudes with big guts to stand in the grass and pick their noses while only three of the ten people on the field are playing at a given time.

    On a related note:
    In what part of my comparison did I say that action was my only criterion? There are several more--the "players" must be athleteshot girls in sundresses must be in attendance (yes, a horse race qualifies--horses are athletes, too)..etc. But, I'll say this, though, since we're on the topic of "action." The 7th inning stretch is proof that baseball sucks--fans need to stretch because there's been no action, no standing and cheering, just sitting there taking a nap, scratching your privates, and eating while waiting on something to happen. It's easy to see why big baby helmuth loves the sport.

  • At 5:58 PM, Blogger Lord Helmet said…

    Mrs Bush, I refer you to your previous post of 413pm where you said, "both include only about 5 minutes of real action over a 3 hr period."

    It is not a very becoming tactic to conveniently change your argument to suit a temporary purpose.

    Once again, you are hopelessly misled. You said FANS, and the emphasis is on fans, FANS prefer football because of the action. FANS prefer BASEBALL because of the strategy involved and prescience required to really follow a game. FANS go to football games to see people kick each other's ass--not to predict what coverage the defense is in and whether the qb can decipher it. Baseball FANS go to games to see whether a team will hit and run with a 3-2 count and only 1 out in the bottom of the 3d inning. You related FAN preference the action requirement; don't try and change your argument, Munson.

    The issue here is not, as you are trying so blatantly to diverge our conversation, which sport requires more intelligence to play. I will take any set of baseball players against Ron Mexico, Jason Campbell, Vince Young, and for good measure Nate Newton any day of the week. Though those men have great athletic instincts, please don't tell me that the word "intelligence" and any of those names has ever collided in the same sentence. Hell I'll take Matsui over them and he doesn't even speak English.

  • At 8:16 PM, Anonymous adolf oliver bush said…

    You raised the issue of strategy, Doughboy. So who's changing the argument?

    As to intelligence, you named the bottom of the barrel in football, and I can certainly do the same for baseball (i.e., Otis Nixon, Barry Bonds...can't name any college baseball players because I don't know any at all). For every player you name, I can easily pick one from the MLB to match. The point is, and I'm sure you'll concede this, that it requires tons more planning to orchestrate a successful football game than a baseball game. You can't seriously refute this. And, whether or not the actual player is intelligent, he's practiced his role so much and developed a chemistry with his teammates--that's the beauty of it. One dosen't have to be a genius to play either sport, but football absolutely require more of the individual player mentally and physically. That's why I have more respect for the sport. My college roommate played both sports with much success at the collegiate level in the SEC, and I'm stealing his arguments here.

    Again, I never said action was my ONLY criterion. I merely stated that a baseball game and barbri classes offer the same level of action, but the bunts in barbri are more hilarious. You need to brush up on reading comprehension before the end of July.

    "You related FAN preference the action requirement; don't try and change your argument, Munson." Re-read your post--I think you are calling out yourself with your babble about why FANS go to the respective games.

    Ok, this is my last post on the topic. Let's let everyone else play. I'll just leave it at this: some people (those who prefer football over baseball) just expect a little more out of life. For example: I like Journey, you like Nickelback. You like watching adult-swim cartoons with T.Housecat, I like going to the Booth to hang out with college girls (who are there legally). You're a one-striper, and I am the product of a first-tier frat. I eat meat, you're a vegetarian. It's ok if we're different. Our differences shouldn't lead to such e-animosity. Hugs and Kisses, AOB.

  • At 7:23 AM, Blogger Lord Helmet said…

    Nothing says "I have a 3.5 inch penis" like self-proclamation of tier 1 frat status...low self esteem much?

    And by the way, your dissertation on "hot routes" was so complicated...I'm sure that eclipses the hundreds of pages of scouting reports that exist FOR EVERY SINGLE MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL PLAYER EVER

  • At 8:09 AM, Anonymous steve largent said…

    do baseball players have mandatory 2-hr film sessions every day to study their opponents? do they have 200 pg. playbooks and an intricate game plan that they must learn before taking the field each time? you'd be amazed to take a look at a college DEFENSIVE playbook, not to mention the offensive version.

    so, baseball scouting reports, in "hundreds" of pages, basically say "don't pitch him high and inside." ok, great. even if these scouting reports exist, i don't even see why they are needed. do they say "don't hit it to jeter because he'll probably catch it?" ha.

    remember, the hot route progession is only one guy's thought process (and, according to you, this guy is most likely an idiot). there are 10 others with similar reads. please compare this to what takes place in baseball. for example, what goes through the average right fielder's mind during a typical "play"--whenever a "play" takes place (once every 3 innings, perhpas?). I'm guessing it's something like "this guy is a leftie. i should shade right. if it's in the air, i should catch it. if it's on the ground, i should scoop it and throw it to the cutoff man." now that's some deep stuff.

    btw, lord helmet, have you ever played baseball or football on a seriously-competitive level? given your playstation prowess, i think this may be the first you've ever heard of a hot route.

  • At 10:21 PM, Blogger T. House Cat said…

    I asked if you think baseball sucks, not for hideously long diatribes on how complicated various sports are.

    AOB - We all know you dislike baseball. Spare us the rest of your rambling.

    Helmet - I was thinking the same thing when I first read "first tier frat."

    Largent - Do you like baseball or not?

  • At 10:43 PM, Anonymous steve largent said…

    no, i don't like baseball.

    as to first-tier frat status, i can back up adolf here. if you all understood first-tier frats, you'd know that it's not the sort of status that one can confer on himself or his frat. that's rule #1--kind of like giving yourself your own nickname. all that matters is that your frat has been granted first-tier status by reputable know what i mean.

    so, it's obvious that adolf was only recognizing a fact about his frat that had already been established, not proclaiming it originally. only top-tier fratters would have understood that distinction from the outset. it's not like we have us news rankings for this--you either get it or you don't. but, the concept is the same--harvard didn't confer first-tier status on itself, but it damn sure recognizes it.

    in related news, new balance started making cleats. now every frat dog--from tier 1 on down--will be sporting gray new balance cleats at the annual pledge football game. interesting.


  • At 10:48 PM, Anonymous John Rocker said…

    Baseball blows

  • At 10:12 AM, Blogger T. House Cat said…

    It's nice to see that you can change your name from Adolf Oliver Bush to Steve Largent in order to back yourself up.

  • At 12:47 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    baseball doesn't "suck" like going to the dentist, but it sucks in comparison to other sports

  • At 1:04 PM, Anonymous adolf oliver bush said…

    it's nice to see that nobody else cares enough about this blog to fancy you with a comment. perhaps it's because you've turned away all of your readers with the constant talk of baseball.

  • At 5:39 PM, Blogger T. House Cat said…

    Yet you seem more than happy to provide us with your "worthwhile" comments to no end.

  • At 9:14 PM, Anonymous LDD said…

    I'm thinking seriously about carpet bombing boxes 2 & 3 . . . Baseball sucks donkey dick - the only good things about going to a baseball game are the tall boys and/or the 16oz cups. Furthermore, every baseball player I've ever met above the high school level is a cocky prick. That's all the reason I need to dislike the sport.

  • At 10:25 PM, Anonymous adolf oliver bush said…

    well, i'm bored. next summer you'll understand. i'd rather start and win arguments than study the ucc. excuse me for living.

    why didn't you write anything about chris keys getting kicked off the football team? that was great blog fodder, giving the thugish character of his numerous offenses including, but not limited to, pulling a gun on someone who stole his cupcake at a birthday party. (credible story from poster). how about that terrorist prick getting killed in iraq yesterday? there's plenty going on, and baseball ain't it. just my humble suggestions.

    and, as the person responsible for naming you, the ranch, lord helmet (i'm pretty sure), and introducing you to the phrase "premature adjudication," you should be grateful for my presence. you're such a ripoff artist. we may as well call you p. diddy with all the sampling going on here. plus, i don't see any proper bluebook citations to me.

  • At 8:10 AM, Blogger Lord Helmet said…

    I do love you LDD, but seriously if by "every baseball player above the high school level" you mean Ty Cobb or Cy Young, or anyone else who played before the Roosevelt Administration, I may have to take your comment with a grain of salt...

  • At 9:25 AM, Blogger T. House Cat said…

    A. The girls named me.

    B. Good job, the Ranch is very creative.

    C. Premature Adjudication, true, you introduced us to the name. Fanks.

    D. Ok... Mr. I'm-too-afraid-to-write-on-a-blog-for-fear-that-some-attorney-somewhere-may-think-less-of-me-someday. I'm pretty sure that I put my own thoughts and ideas up here all the time. You might not like them, but that's not my problem. Occasionally we use a suggestion of yours because you're too scared to put it up. Don't get a big head.

    E. On the same note, if you hadn't pussed out, you could have written about Chris Keys and that terrorist guy, but instead you'd rather post "anonymous" comments under different names. At least LDD has the common courtesy to use a consistent monnicker.

    Thanks for the opinion. I disagree, but I do like the beer too. There's nothing like sitting outside getting drunk.

    Ty Cobb was a cocky prick. It's well documented. But if that was an attempt to crack on LDD's age, then I support it wholeheartedly.

  • At 1:33 PM, Anonymous adolf oliver bush said…

    no, i named you housecat. when you moved in, we were up at box one and big ole b asked what your name was. the girls said "your name here." i said "yeah, but we don't know him from "[your name here]'s housecat." laughter ensued, and that's how your name emerged. we then proceeded to make fun of your facial hair after that. there's your history lesson for today, beoch.

  • At 1:48 PM, Blogger T. House Cat said…

    I did have some sweet facial hair.

  • At 8:33 AM, Anonymous J.M. Harlan said…

    AOB is a chump. I'm the one who came up with "premature adjudication," not him.

  • At 6:44 PM, Blogger Lord Helmet said…

    Justice Harlan,

    Purely as a point of clarification, are you Harlan the Elder or Harlan the Younger?

    Second, I have initiated impeachment, honor council, deportation, and treason charges against AOB...May the Court of Public Opinion have mercy on his plagiarizing soul.

  • At 7:00 PM, Anonymous adolf oliver bush said…

    Justice Harlan:

    Your honor, may it please the court and Florida fans' jorts. I would never attempt to take credit for the ultimate combination of a legal concept laced with the unassailable force of causing all dudes in a fed. jur class to laugh uncontrollably--to the point of having to get in the floor behind the desks. In your honor, I promise to include this phrase in the first brief I write, notwithstanding the actual subject matter.

    Helmut: After consulting the greatest fed. jur. outline of modern times, my conclusion is that we have Harlan the second, not the famous dissenter, to thank. The sixties rocked: see ABBOTT LABORATORIES ET AL. v. GARDNER, SECRETARY OF HEALTH, EDUCATION, AND WELFARE, ET AL. 387 U.S. 136 (1967).

    I move to make Justice Harlan the Second the official spiritual founder of the blog.

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