Premature Adjudication

We're a bunch of law students who all live together and want to write a blog. Well, only three of us want to write, but the others may pop in occasionally. We have no true purpose, but I bet you'll see a lot about sports, current events, and general randomness. Don't worry bar admissions people we are both of high moral character and physically fit.

Saturday, May 20, 2006

Of Mountains and Marriotts

Wednesday evening I got a call from PartyBoy..."Hey dude, I'm meeting my uncles tomorrow morning in the mountains to play this new track they heard about--want to come?" Knowing that shenanigans would no doubt ensue, I nevertheless replied in the affirmative...and stautes of Jesus, the Virgin Mary, and Bear Bryant worldwide had tears run down their collective cheeks.

The golf was spectacular--not only because Lord Helmet made 4 birdies on the front side--but because the views, weather, and beer were top notch. When the dust settled, the good guys beat the bad guys out of 12 bucks and both cars loaded up to return home. The uncles predictably retraced their steps from the morning and were tucked into bed by 900pm. The other car, however equally predictable, did not return from whence it came. Rather...

PartyBoy: So you going out when we get back home?
Lord Helmet: I guess, not like you're going to give me a choice.
PartyBoy: Nope.
Lord Helmet: Hell, since we're already here why don't we just head into the nearby city and see what we can get into?
PartyBoy: Interesting idea you have there. Yes, provocative...
Lord Helmet: I mean I've never been out in this town before. I hear their minor league stadium and all the downtown bars sit right on the river. Might be worth a shot. You know we can't do shit like this next year when we're working...
PartyBoy: Ok. Sold!
Lord Helmet: Scoops!

Subsequently, calls were placed to wives, moms, and parole officers to inform them of the slight deviation from our original plan. The car was then parked conveniently within walking distance to the stadium (which was in fact hosting a game that night...nice), to all the downtown bars (which our friend T, a native of said town, expertly described to us via text message), and to a Marriott (into which we planned to deposit ourselves roughly 6 hours later).

We enjoyed a 5-4 victory by the home team, saw 3 home runs, ate 2 stadium dogs each, watched the visitor's manager get tossed (although he did have a legit complaint), and heckled the other team's first baseman, a "number 20" who booted 2 balls and struck out 3 times.

Having succesfully completed the 1st part of our mission at the ballgame (which was to drink), we then turned our attention to parts 2-4 (which, incidentally, were to drink) and based on T's advice headed to a place we'll call BRG. We quickly made friends with several locals and then proceeded to a certain joint with a roof top bar. From there we migrated...

...and the story picks up the next morning on our way home at a Pizza Hut buffet. Sorry, I have to leave something to your imagination. However, much like the adorable 4th graders on South Park, I learned something yesterday: wait, no I didn't.

Ah Roll Tide!


  • At 2:54 PM, Anonymous LDD said…

    Were you still drunk when you wrote this? Cuz you're all over the freakin place.

  • At 10:09 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    If you guys were available, I'd be on you like stink on shit.

  • At 1:11 PM, Anonymous Shasta McNasty said…

    Leave it to our imagination? The only mountain scene more disturbing than Deliverance is imagining Helmet riding Mountain Donkeys into the night...perhaps squealing like a pig.


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