I'm not generally one to judge a person by their station in life, but sometimes people just make me do it. Yesterday, a friend and I, we'll call him Diamonds, went to Publix to get a pre-exam sandwich. Publix has an awesome deli with great sandwiches, wraps, and chicken, but often the deli workers are lazy, apathetic, and straight-up rude. I guess I would be too if I got paid $7 an hour to slice meat for a living. Anyway, we're sitting there waiting for our sandwiches to be made and this fat, slovenly deli worker with a massive inferiority complex and a 14-year-old's mustache comes into our general vicinity and starts pouring ranch straight out of a tub and into a little to go cup. I don't know if you know what ranch looks like when it is being poured out of such a tub, but it looks like straight fat leaking out of a 250 pound sea donkey's thigh. The whole scene was reminiscent of Hurley and his ranch obsession on Lost. Diamonds and I looked at each other, back at the ranch, then made disgusted faces. I think I even groaned a little. The fat, slovelny deli worker somehow took offense to this. He, of course, looked like the type of fellow who takes straight shots of ranch and washes them down with chicken wings. In the typical, "I'm a loser who works at the Publix Deli" fashion, he asked us what we were looking at and why we had funny looks on our faces. Yes... that is correct, we got shit-talked to by the fat, backwoods Publix Deli worker... while he was on the job! Apparently he missed the training video on customer service. Diamonds and I didn't really understand what happened until we walked out, but we chalked it up to his station in life. If I had already met my ceiling by working at the Publix Deli, I'd probably be pissed too. But here's a free piece of advice you fat moron, don't talk shit to customers who can go and get you fired from your dream job. Next thing you know you'll be selling meth out of your bathtub. Who am I kidding, you probably already are.