Premature Adjudication

We're a bunch of law students who all live together and want to write a blog. Well, only three of us want to write, but the others may pop in occasionally. We have no true purpose, but I bet you'll see a lot about sports, current events, and general randomness. Don't worry bar admissions people we are both of high moral character and physically fit.

Monday, March 06, 2006

Feline Coitus

Last week, Rancherian #8 (by order of arrival at the Ranch) and I encountered two members of the oustpoken gang of cats which inhabit our fair Ranch engaged in sexual intercourse. At first, the Drill Sergeant and I were unsure whether Socks (the male, likely the alpha of the group...he drives a big-ass truck and drinks Bud Heavy) was killing his partner. However, we determined they were engaged in intercourse when he dismounted, she rolled over, and he began to side-door her...vigorously. This left us with a host of questions:

(1) Do cats experiment with sexual positions?
(2) Do they talk about positions (or "progressions") the way we do?
(2) Will he call her the next day?
(3) Why did they do it out in the open right in front of Box 4?
(4) Will Socks' social status be enhanced because he side-doored?
(5) Will his partner (who is yet unnamed, but richly deserves the appellation "Dumpster") be chastised by other female cats?

Your comments are greatly appreciated.


  • At 11:18 AM, Blogger T. House Cat said…

    (1) Yes we do
    (2) No, it's all just instinctual for us.
    (3) Cats love to be exhibitionists.
    (4) Socks has now moved up to second cat at the Ranch.
    (5) She will be unmercifully referred to as a 'reeer,' which in cat speak means 'slut.'

  • At 11:18 AM, Blogger Drill Sargeant said…

    Also, do felines engage in 'the progression?'

  • At 11:43 AM, Blogger PartyBoy said…

    (1) and (2) Housecat doesn't experiment or go through progressions, only face down on the pillow, biting a pencil, while crying (at least thats what the rumors around first years are). And of course he won't call her the next day, aside from the obvious phone issues for a cat, no male ever calls a female after side dooring her

    (3) Wouldn't you if someone would oblige?

    (4) If any of us did that we'd be deemed a God in ranch speak, so my assumption is that cats follow the general rule that social status can be enhanced by deviate sexual behavior in public

    (5) Consider this gospel: "And wo be unto sluts who side door in front of box 4 of the ranch for great ridicule shall fall unto them from all the pussy in the land"


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