Premature Adjudication

We're a bunch of law students who all live together and want to write a blog. Well, only three of us want to write, but the others may pop in occasionally. We have no true purpose, but I bet you'll see a lot about sports, current events, and general randomness. Don't worry bar admissions people we are both of high moral character and physically fit.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Charles Barkley says "Be White"

Charles Barkley has decided that he wants to run for governor of Alabama in 2010 on the Democratic ticket. I was pretty sure that Barkley was a republican, but apparently he cleared that up

"I was a Republican until they lost their minds," he said earlier this month at
a celebrity golf tournament in Nevada.

and later
"What I've said is I'm rich like a Republican. But I'm not one," Barkley
said in remarks reported by The Birmingham News.

Thanks Chuck.

Anyway, he's being endorsed by Siegelman, which I'm not sure is going to help him much anymore, but hey, every little bit counts. He was also quite complimentary of Alabama

"If it wasn't for Arkansas and Mississippi, we'd be dead last in
everything. I think we can do better," he said.

That's a compliment right?

In Barkley's most interesting comment though came when he urged black kids to try and be white

"There are too many black kids and their parents who do not value a good
education," he said. "There are places where a black kid who is a good student
and tries to speak correctly, you hear stuff like, 'He's trying to be white.'
Well, I say, if that's true, we need more kids trying to be white."

Sir Charles ladies and gentlemen.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Bar is Over... How Anti-Climatic

Well, the bar is over so now Helmet and the anonymous commenter can quit their bitching. Congrats guys, you're one step closer to finding out that you're not going to be a lawyer.

Sunday, July 16, 2006

Sex-Starved Midgets on the Loose!!!

While standing in line at a gas station somewhere near Columbus, Mississippi this weekend, my eye caught the headline on an issue of "The Columbus Packet," a little 50-cent newspaper that was sitting on the counter. Mind you, this was in no way a classy paper, it deals with drug busts and car wrecks and generally everything else shady that happens in and around Columbus. The headline that caught my eye though was, "Cops Don't Buy Sex-Starved Midget Story." How many times do you see that on the front of a paper? The article was about some guy in New Orleans vandalizing flower pots or something who got caught by the cops leaving the scene. The guy apparently tried to pawn the act off on two other guys, one a black midget and the other a 6' white guy, who were screaming about wanting sex. Quite creative really. The cops, showing more intelligence than they usually do, didn't buy his story and arrested him. Nothing more than that, but it made for one helluva headline... and headlines sell papers. At least to fools like me. Anyway, it lead me to wonder whether that was one of the best/funniest headlines anyone else had ever seen. Also, has anyone come up with great story like that to get out of trouble and if so, did it work? Anyone? Anyone?

Side Note: While looking for a suitable picture to use for this post, I came across this site, which claims to be "Recognised as the largest Agency in the World forDwarves, Midgets and Little People under 5'." So if you're looking for a female midget/dwarf who can mime, swim, sing, and dance, you know where to look. There's even some acrobats!

Side Note 2: This is in no way meant to make fun of midgets, rather, it is to expose those who try to use midgets as scapegoats. As you can see from the picture of Tony Cox from Date Movie above and the website provided, midgets are productive members of society and can be very entertaining.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

The Bar Exam is Like...

(1) Payback for everything bad/fun/irresponsible/stupid you did in college

(2) A cocktail composed of 4 parts misery and 2 parts bullshit

(3) Passing a kidney stone

(4) Having a camera shoved up your deuce (ask THC)

(5) That burning sensation when you pee (again, see THC)

Ok, now your turn. Personal experience not required.

Monday, July 10, 2006

My Favorite Frenchman

Well, the World Cup is over, which means we can all go back to not caring about soccer again for another four years. Before I go back to soccer hibernation, or normalcy as I call it, I'd just like to comment on my new favorite soccer player and Frenchman, Zinedine Zidane. For those of you who don't care about soccer, not even for the World Cup, Zidane is the baddest ass Frenchman since pre-Waterloo Napoleon (without a height complex). If all of France was made up of guys like him, well, we might actually like France.

In case you missed it, his action that gained my respect was the pretty much unprovoked (well, except for all the diving and crying) headbutt-to-the-chest that he delivered to some smarmy, greasy Italian player in the 110th minute of the World Cup final yesterday. Granted, it wasn't all that bright, he ultimately got red carded and France went on to lose, but personally I think it was worth showing those Italian floppers a thing or two about who's boss. The Italians wanted to keep falling down and acting hurt, so Zidane obliged them with a good reason. If our team had a bunch of guys like Zidane rather than the Landon Donovans of the world, maybe we'd actually show some toughness and grit rather than running down the field and not taking shots. And don't get me started on Jim Gray or whoever that announcer was calling the shot "vicious." If anything it was a statement. Vicious is a kick to the back of the knee or an elbow to the head (a la that Italian guy to Brian McBride). Zidane's headbutt was to the chest. Just a friendly, "Hello... stop being such a p@#$%..." (or however you would say that in French). All in all he showed the toughness, albeit not the brains, of a champion. Now I know why the only soccer jerseys I ever see say "Zidane" on the back of them. Too bad he's retiring from international play.

PS I'm part Italian so I can make fun of them all I want.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

That's The Beat To Funky Town!

Here is a summary of what has been going on:

(1) The Braves suck
(2) America is 230
(3) It's hot outside
(4) Barbri really sucks
(5) I'm getting a mortgage
(6) I'm reading a book about pirates
(7) And Partyboy's farts smell

Outside of this list I really don't have much to say. I can't wait for the bar exam to be over so I can stop being so lame. I haven't done anything stupid or irresponsible in like 5 weeks...and that makes my soul hurt.

Oh yeah, and PA would like to wish one its most loyal and sexy readers a speedy recovery. Over the weekend she lost a fight (2-1 by scorecards) with a stair rail at a local watering hole. Ouch. Wait--is voluntary intoxication an affirmative defense in a slip-n-fall case?

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

The Twilight Zone

I'm clerking in a town that I'm not from. I couldn't find a good place to live so I ended up finding an apartment that prorated and was furnished. Turns out that it was basically an old hotel so my "studio apartment" is basically an old hotel room with a stove. I'm poor until I get a paycheck so I don't have cable, but I want to watch the NBA draft (I hadto see where Renaldo Balkman went) so I came to the clubhouse to watch the big screen tv and use the wireless internet that doesn't quite reach my room. Man, this is a weird place. First thing I see when I walk in is three guys sitting at the bar area eating a watermelon. One barely speaks English, the other mumbles, and the third is the "security guard" who looks like Vizzini from the Princess Bride. Then, while I'm trying to ignore this freak show chowing face first down on their watermelon, another guy skips through the room talking like a high energy Rain Man and proceeds to eat a hamburger. Another guy has repeated about five times how the man reading the names of the draft picks for the second round of the NBA draft is retiring after this year. Like anyone cares. Needless to say, I fit right in with this crowd. Oh the things I will do to watch tv and use the internet.

BBQ Nachos and Presidential Politics

For whatever reason, all I could think about during the barbri lecture yesterday was BBQ nachos from Big Bad that must mean we're getting close to football fact we are 65 days from kickoff. Roll Tide!

The other pressing issue on my mind (in addition to venue and interpleader) was who will be the next president of the USA? From where I'm sitting, it looks like Hillary will run away with the Dem nomination and will face Bill Frist (ala Bob Dole) and will whoop his ass. The only Republicans who can beat her are Rudy Giuliani and John McCain, but I doubt either has the clout to get the nomination in 2 years.

So what is the connection between nachos and politics, you ask? Precisely this: My back-up plan is to open Big Bad Wolves franchise in Australia.